Conflict

A part of communication which I feel needs further discussion is the concept of conflict. Conflict is inevitable and a part of communication that causes so many negative reactions. People have conflict because they don’t know how to communicate well and then, cant find their way back to positive communication because they don’t know how to deal with conflict in a healthy productive way. I enjoyed reading the different types of ways people handle conflict. I tend to withdraw a lot during fights and etc, possibly because of cultural expectations. Instead of fighting my point, I just say whatever and go away. This is not healthy nor does it end the conflict, but rather it extends it because the resentment and feelings are still there. This is something very obvious that everyone knows but it is different when you read it and you read the correct steps to deal within communication and arguments. We did do a lot of work on conflict though, but it is such an interesting topic that I would have enjoyed further discussion on it.

Nonverbal communication

A topic that I found the most interesting was the topic of nonverbal communication. Like most people I limited this concept to just facial and body language and paid little attention to the rest. In reality, kinesics is not the only type of nonverbal communication that we experience. Non verbal communication is very complex, extensive, and through project we have written, I have learned that it makes up at leaset 70% of our communication. What we say is not always the important part but how we say it and other nonverbal cues. Proxemics, was particularly interesting to me because we isolate ourselves physically, as well as categorized by where we are sat and other forms of spatial aspects. There is so much to learn about nonverbal communication. Thanks to this course, I learned to pay more attention to the cues that I send out and the positions I put myself in.

Culture

I agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict when she states that we are creatures of our culture but, like many things in life, there are exceptions though. We are what our culture dictates but many times it depends on how strong our culture is presented to us. In many families now days, due to the mixing of different cultures, the lines are blurred and it is difficult to define one culture. For example, many immigrant families move to the U.S and their children find themselves in between their parent’s culture and their new culture in the U.S. If the parents or the family surrounding them isn’t strong enough to influence them then children could fall into following a culture that is presented to them by friends, or their new environment. I believe that we can break through the limits of culture if we are actively participating in a culture that is different than ours. By seeing and experiencing other cultures, our world is opens up and people are able to find a new way of doing things, believing in things, and habits.

Global Village

Chapter 12 discussed an interesting topic of “global village”. I found this topic interesting due to the fact that the book stated that the world is shrinking due to the ease of intercultural communication via internet, facility of travel, and etc. I agree that it in order to be successful in this new world, understanding and knowledge about other cultures is important. The cross among cultures is a lot more common and learning how to communicate and interact with people is important. After living my whole life in the bay area, among so many different types of people, different cultures, languages and etc, living in Mexico for three years was extremely odd to me in that the homogenous nature of the country. It was odd to me to go to Costco and see everyone of the same race, culture, and everyone looked similar. After a while it became monotonous and boring in a way. Additionally, the internet is not as widely available like it is here in the U.S.

Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication

There are many examples of how nonverbal messages vary among cultures. For example, in the American culture if you do not look someone in the eyes when they speak to you, you are being evasive and possibly rude. Other cultures, I believe it is Asian cultures to be exact, believe that looking elders or others in the eyes is a form of disrespect. Additionally, touching also varies among cultures in regards to nonverbal cues. In Mexican culture, people say hi when one sees each other by kissing on the cheek. Males do not do this with other males, but do with females, and females say hi to other females by kissing on the cheek also. American culture varies in that they do not say hi using this method.
These examples are only a few of the many that exist between cultures. Cultures have different customs, traditions, and values that affect the nonverbal cues that are acceptable within their said culture as well as expected.

Nonverbal communication

Like any form of communication, it is very relative and open to interpretation. Through the previous chapter we learned that our minds are embedded with scripts so many times we hear something different than what is actually said due to the fact of expectation. Moreover, we have also learned that preexisting attitudes that we have toward people, subjects, and etc affect our interpretation. Many times I have found myself interpreting people’s nonverbal messages. A specific experience that I can recall is not related to how I interpreted a message but how someone interpreted mine. A person who works at my office seems to interpret my looking at him as a invitation for him to come and talk. More specifically, when someone walks into a room, you tend to unconsciously turn and see who it is. I have learned to no longer turn and see because if it is him, and he sees you look at him, then you have to listen to him talk for about an hour. A way to increase accuracy in reading nonverbal messages is to be aware and conscious of the messages you are sending or that people tend to send. Making sure you read people and what they usually mean by certain cues will allow a better interpretation of the messages. For example, I realized that looking at him (even though accidently) he takes it as an invitation to come and talk, so I altered the messages I send (ie avoid looking at him) so I can send the message I want to send.

Scripts

A topic that I found interesting was scripts from chapter 3. I found this interesting because I am a slave to scripts. Whether it be a negative thing or a positive thing, I have always been very aware of situations and what is expected and scripts have allowed me to navigate through these different situations. Like the book said, many times things you think you hear or see things that you don’t because you rely so heavily on scripts. Many times, you come to expect what is coming so you hear that, rather then listening completely. In my personal experience, I have found that I use scripts in regards to small talk and not participating in real and active conversations with people that I do not know.

Though many may believe that scripts are completely negative, I definitely believe that they are not all bad, and are useful in certain situations. What I believe needs to be remembered is possibly that they should be used as a beginning point and not relied heavily on.