Conflict

A part of communication which I feel needs further discussion is the concept of conflict. Conflict is inevitable and a part of communication that causes so many negative reactions. People have conflict because they don’t know how to communicate well and then, cant find their way back to positive communication because they don’t know how to deal with conflict in a healthy productive way. I enjoyed reading the different types of ways people handle conflict. I tend to withdraw a lot during fights and etc, possibly because of cultural expectations. Instead of fighting my point, I just say whatever and go away. This is not healthy nor does it end the conflict, but rather it extends it because the resentment and feelings are still there. This is something very obvious that everyone knows but it is different when you read it and you read the correct steps to deal within communication and arguments. We did do a lot of work on conflict though, but it is such an interesting topic that I would have enjoyed further discussion on it.

Nonverbal communication

A topic that I found the most interesting was the topic of nonverbal communication. Like most people I limited this concept to just facial and body language and paid little attention to the rest. In reality, kinesics is not the only type of nonverbal communication that we experience. Non verbal communication is very complex, extensive, and through project we have written, I have learned that it makes up at leaset 70% of our communication. What we say is not always the important part but how we say it and other nonverbal cues. Proxemics, was particularly interesting to me because we isolate ourselves physically, as well as categorized by where we are sat and other forms of spatial aspects. There is so much to learn about nonverbal communication. Thanks to this course, I learned to pay more attention to the cues that I send out and the positions I put myself in.

Culture

I agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict when she states that we are creatures of our culture but, like many things in life, there are exceptions though. We are what our culture dictates but many times it depends on how strong our culture is presented to us. In many families now days, due to the mixing of different cultures, the lines are blurred and it is difficult to define one culture. For example, many immigrant families move to the U.S and their children find themselves in between their parent’s culture and their new culture in the U.S. If the parents or the family surrounding them isn’t strong enough to influence them then children could fall into following a culture that is presented to them by friends, or their new environment. I believe that we can break through the limits of culture if we are actively participating in a culture that is different than ours. By seeing and experiencing other cultures, our world is opens up and people are able to find a new way of doing things, believing in things, and habits.

Global Village

Chapter 12 discussed an interesting topic of “global village”. I found this topic interesting due to the fact that the book stated that the world is shrinking due to the ease of intercultural communication via internet, facility of travel, and etc. I agree that it in order to be successful in this new world, understanding and knowledge about other cultures is important. The cross among cultures is a lot more common and learning how to communicate and interact with people is important. After living my whole life in the bay area, among so many different types of people, different cultures, languages and etc, living in Mexico for three years was extremely odd to me in that the homogenous nature of the country. It was odd to me to go to Costco and see everyone of the same race, culture, and everyone looked similar. After a while it became monotonous and boring in a way. Additionally, the internet is not as widely available like it is here in the U.S.

Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication

There are many examples of how nonverbal messages vary among cultures. For example, in the American culture if you do not look someone in the eyes when they speak to you, you are being evasive and possibly rude. Other cultures, I believe it is Asian cultures to be exact, believe that looking elders or others in the eyes is a form of disrespect. Additionally, touching also varies among cultures in regards to nonverbal cues. In Mexican culture, people say hi when one sees each other by kissing on the cheek. Males do not do this with other males, but do with females, and females say hi to other females by kissing on the cheek also. American culture varies in that they do not say hi using this method.
These examples are only a few of the many that exist between cultures. Cultures have different customs, traditions, and values that affect the nonverbal cues that are acceptable within their said culture as well as expected.

Nonverbal communication

Like any form of communication, it is very relative and open to interpretation. Through the previous chapter we learned that our minds are embedded with scripts so many times we hear something different than what is actually said due to the fact of expectation. Moreover, we have also learned that preexisting attitudes that we have toward people, subjects, and etc affect our interpretation. Many times I have found myself interpreting people’s nonverbal messages. A specific experience that I can recall is not related to how I interpreted a message but how someone interpreted mine. A person who works at my office seems to interpret my looking at him as a invitation for him to come and talk. More specifically, when someone walks into a room, you tend to unconsciously turn and see who it is. I have learned to no longer turn and see because if it is him, and he sees you look at him, then you have to listen to him talk for about an hour. A way to increase accuracy in reading nonverbal messages is to be aware and conscious of the messages you are sending or that people tend to send. Making sure you read people and what they usually mean by certain cues will allow a better interpretation of the messages. For example, I realized that looking at him (even though accidently) he takes it as an invitation to come and talk, so I altered the messages I send (ie avoid looking at him) so I can send the message I want to send.

Scripts

A topic that I found interesting was scripts from chapter 3. I found this interesting because I am a slave to scripts. Whether it be a negative thing or a positive thing, I have always been very aware of situations and what is expected and scripts have allowed me to navigate through these different situations. Like the book said, many times things you think you hear or see things that you don’t because you rely so heavily on scripts. Many times, you come to expect what is coming so you hear that, rather then listening completely. In my personal experience, I have found that I use scripts in regards to small talk and not participating in real and active conversations with people that I do not know.

Though many may believe that scripts are completely negative, I definitely believe that they are not all bad, and are useful in certain situations. What I believe needs to be remembered is possibly that they should be used as a beginning point and not relied heavily on.

Communication Among Genders

When it comes to men and women, I believe that there is no doubt that our form of communication, among other things, vary. Communication by the respective genders varies in so many ways, including language used. I agree with Deborah Tannen from chapter 4 that these differences come about due to the ways in which boys and girls are raised. Girls are taught to not challenge authority or give opinions, rather to communicate feelings and bond with people, while boys are encouraged to talk about achievements and avoid talk about their feelings.

The different forms by which boys and girls are socialized affect the way we communicate greatly. According to the book, and personal experience, talking about problems with a male is different then when a female talks about problems. A male makes the problems seem less important than it may actually be, or think of a straight forward solution. Additionally females talk more about private and personal issues then men do. Communication as a whole is used completely different by genders in every way possible.

Judging and Categorizing

Judging people/ situations and categorizing them is a process we use in order to create schema’s and not overwhelm ourselves with the mass of information we are presented on a daily basis. I believe that as a society we are socialized into behaving in certain ways. Judging and categorizing therefore is inevitable and many times unconscious. I would not say that it is impossible to not judge people, but I do believe it is highly unlikely to avoid it. This behavior is so ingrained in us that I believe that perceiving without making judgments is very difficult. In order to make judgments that are more fair one should take the schema’s that we have stored and use them as a starting point, rather than a strict rule book that predicts traits, behavior or etc. Additionally, perception checks could be a tool which can be used to make better decisions regarding the interpretation of information. Lastly, another way make fair judgments is to listen actively and closely while also paying attention to persons message content. Holding off on making judgments until one fully listens to what the speaker is truly saying might be a way to improve our ability to judge.

Social Constructionist Perspective

In chapter two of our book, the topic of social constructionist perspective was introduced. The social constructionist perspective takes a more symbolic view of communication than other definitions. According to this perspective, we “build worlds” through symbolic codes, cultural traditions, cognitive codes, and a set of cultural rules that guide us through the world and guides our actions. I believe that this concept, though it lacks in the ability to be applied in many ways, brings up some interesting points. It proposes that communication is what shapes our interpretation of the world and our surrounding rather than our own experience. To a certain extent, I believe this is so. The communication we have from our family, our culture, and through symbolic communication like actions of our ancestors and expectations from our culture. This definitely has an impact on people, and it definitely had an impact on me. I believe that I am barely seeing the whole world as it is and not just the small part of the world that was shown to me by my parents. I am 26 and my world was very minimized, full of rules and expectations and the belief that certain things just don’t happen or aren’t possible. This truth that I lived with was constrictive and did not let me live up to my full potential or step out of the box that my culture set up for me. I definitely believe that not only the happiness of those in certain cultures is limited but also the ability to succeed is incomplete.

Pragmatic Perspective

Yes! I very deeply believe that the pragmatic perspective makes sense and that communication as a pattern of interaction could help people communicate better. Now, I must also say that I believe that fixing problems like those of George and Martha and our book can not solely be fixed by using this process. I believe that thought this perspective can not stand alone; it could be the beginning of a healthy communication pattern between people.

Human nature is to jump right in and “fix the problem” without thinking of the root or the basis. One could have the best argument of the world, or the most intense feelings that need to be expressed, but, if the issue is not communicated correctly, there is no purpose of saying it because it would do no good to either. Communication is definitely a game. People need to be strategic and find the best way to get ones point across in the most effective manner. Just like any game, rules are needed and more importantly turns need to be established in order for there not to be chaos. We forget how important correct communication is. We take it for granted and just do it without thinking, but just like in a game, one party needs to go first, then the next one and so forth. Rules of the game are no interrupting, you wait until its your turn, no cheating. The steps are, for example, first what is the issue as you see it, how do you feel about it, and what could be done to correct it.

Subject Position

A topic that I found interesting in chapter two was the issue of subject position. Many times when one reads a text or hears a person give a speech, we forget that not everything that is said or read is real. When in school, we are taught to believe what we read and not question it. As adults, we sometimes forget to critique and/ or analyze the position that others take. The topic of subject position was especially interesting to me because it states that those who are oppressed tend to think that things are the way that authors or speakers say it is. This issue brings to light an awareness to this oppression and helps combat falling into subject position. I believe that it is very important to teach people not to just blindly believe and follow history, books, and others position. It is important for people to be able to critique, find flaws, and formulate their own position rather then just following and trusting others.

The Five Canons of Rhetoric

A concept of communication that I found very interesting from chapter one was the “the five canons of rhetoric” found on page 6. According to this, communication was divided into five parts; Invention, which is the need to find arguments, points and information regarding the topic you want to speak about so your audience could understand you and your point; Style, was a part that I found mostly interesting because the book states that one needed to not only chose the words and arrangement of said words carefully, but also whether one wants to persuade, teach, or etc; Arrangement basically means that the communication brought forth needs to be organized in the best manner in order for the audience to understand and in order for your argument to build; Memory was the importance that a message was kept in the mind of the audience as well as the orator being able to memorize the speech; and lastly, delivery which was the way the speech was given like voice, natural ability, gestures and etc. I found this extremely interesting because many people have difficulty giving speeches as well as shy away from them because of fear. This concept details exactly what is needed in order to be a successful orator, as well as marks the impact on certain points of speech in general.

Orators

I disagree with the Greeks statement that in order to be an orator, one needed to be morally good. There are many examples throughout history of people who were the furthest from being morally good, but were so good in the power of persuasion that they had many followers and convinced them to do many things. A lecturer should, in a perfect world, be a person who is good, honest, and someone who has strong morals and values. Being good, and moral are words and characteristics that are relative to many people. Many orators give a false sense of goodness, honestly and values to their audience. They are successful, though they are not “good” because their arguments are well organized, they have an ability to build rapport with the audience, and they are to an extent charming and confident. I believe that public communication and goodness are related dependent on the orator. A good public speaker would be someone who the audience believes and trusts in what they are saying. Either the orator is a very good liar and therefore can convince the audience of his ideas, or, they see right through him and do not believe in anything said. The connection in the end is that audiences look for truth and will follow you if you are honest and inspiring; whether it be a false orator, or a true, morally good orator.

A speaker I admire

A speaker that I greatly admire is not only a great presenter, but primarily, he is a great writer. Victor Villasenor not only writes, but travels around the country giving speeches and presenting in different venues. I admire him as a speaker because he is very inspiring and a great story teller. I believe that his persuasion style comes primarily from pathos, but logos also. His stories and words are very powerful and pull on a persons heart strings. When one listens to him, an emotional connection is felt, and you feel compassion as well as feel what he or his characters felt. Through this emotional connection, he reminds his audience what is actually important in life and how important it is to be open and treat each other in a loving manner. Though emotions are very important, his speeches also are very simple and logical; i.e. he uses the power of logos also.

An aspect of my personality that makes me persuasive is that I am very logical. I can think of solutions and persuade people in regards to them because I can easily refute any comment, and I have an answer/ solution for a lot of things. Moreover, I am very aware of my surroundings, of needs, and etc so I have the ability to read situations and now what is needed.

Welcome to my blog!

Hi everyone! For the purposes of this class, you can call me Mia. I am a senior, Psychology major who is dying to graduate as soon as possible. I took three years off of school for a family emergency and moved to Mexico to be with my family. While in Mexico, I worked as an English teacher for various schools and non-profit organizations. It was a very good experience.

Since returning, I have been focused on finishing my career. This class is the second communication class I take. I thought that communication courses would be a good compliment to my Psychology major, especially since I'm interested in organizational psychology. I have found communication courses really interesting. As for online classes, I have taken a few. Due to the fact that I work a lot, online courses are the best fit for me.

Currently, I have the best job in the world. I am a translator and work with a company that outsources for government agencies. My work hours are very crazy and long. Luckily, I love my job so the long hours and stressful events are welcomed. The downside to working so much and going to school full time is that I do not have a lot of time for other things. For now, my life is dedicated to school and my career.